Sorry about that.
Well, let's see.. I'm planning on making this as long as detailed as possible.
My grades, ich. Weren't the best, could have been way better, could have been way worse. 2 B's, 2 C's, 2 D's, and 1 F.
~_~ So ashamed of them, I am I am. But this quarter.. ^_^ This quarter I will have way better.
Ensenada! Orchestra peoples are given the chance to go on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico, and back. ( We won't get off of the boat, thank goodness ) and.. I'm going! Yay!
Hm. The last week of September and the whole month of November seemed to be a horrid phase.
True, I had my ups, but God, I did have my downs and unfortunately, I have the marks on my arms to back my story up. And now this month doesn't seem to be looking up.
Started the month on the first ( obviously lol.. o_O; ) and got in a fight with Sara.
Not like any of you people that read this talk to her, and she reads this, but who cares. I don't care anymore if she gets pissed off at me yet another time.
It's my diary, dammit, and I'll write whatever the hell I want to.
Anyway.
The second fight started on the 1st. I was showing her a Seraphim picture and told her if she had her hair down, she'd look like that. And she, for almost the millionth time I've met her, put herself down, saying if she were more attractive that she'd look like that.
Now, in the previous fight, she was saying how her family tells her that she's not loved, she's hated by everyone, and stuff like that.
So I said, casually ( a stretch, I suppose, tells you it's casual, don't you think? ), that maybe why people tell her that is because she lets them, and they see her putting herself down, so they figure they can do the same.
And she got pissed, I mean, man, really caught me off guard.
She said how I always nitpick at the things she does, the things she says.
Roar. I snapped back and such, and she said that she wants someone to listen.
I suppose that someone is me. Of course, I'm the group therapist, which I don't mind at all ( ^_^ ). And here's my final word of advice to her if you do read this, Sara: "If you want someone to listen, expect them to try and talk back to you. If you don't want them to talk back, talk to a wall or write it in a journal that's not an online one."
So I told her that I don't nitpick, I try to help.
And she said that in some cases, I make it worse.
Mm, I didn't say anything but '.' to her and exited her IM.
Not that it pissed me off, as she's entitled to her opinion. I was just tired of fighting.
Hmm... okay, the first fight.
That was on Thanksgiving ( After I babysat my 3 mo. old cousin, George, so cute ^_^ ).
She has this friend she calls Oniisan. ( Heh, reminded me of when I used to call Duo that a while ago ^^ ). Er, correction, "HER Oniisan."
And I told her that I wouldn't IM him that one night, and finally I got tired of hearing about him so I decided to IM him on Turkey Day.
So I do, we talk a bit. He's not all as great as she says, but he's pretty funny.
I told her, and man. What a mistake. She REALLY blew up that time, going on how no one listens to her, and all this other crap.
She finally asked me if I knew what it felt like, to be ignored, to feel like you shouldn't exist. ( Or something like that.) And I ended it with: "Yes. But it's not important."
So she goes on a bit more, until I tell her that I'm never talking to him again.
Oddly enough we got over that fight, although he IM's me sometimes, but I try not to talk back as much as I would if I WAS allowed to talk to him.
Mmmr.
Allowed.
Whatever, I'm not all that interested in him as being a true talk-to most of the time IM'ers.
Today we [Sara and me] didn't talk at school. Not that it matters. I didn't do a damn thing wrong.
I decided that this week I'm trying a new attitude. Not speaking unless spoken to first, not going anywhere uninvited ( like sitting with some people ), keeping to myself. Quiet, reserved. A bitch at times if someone really gets me mad.
If I don't like it, I'm changing it. I might just drop it tomorrow ^^:
Alright, so gotta go now.
I'll update more often now!
Ja!
~Owari~