The beginning of it started extra-depressive. Sunday night I spent more than half the night crying for reasons I'm still trying to figure out. o_O
Monday, well. I was exhausted no less and my back was just.. killing me. Karen, the nicest Soph. ^_^;; She's like an older sister to me, she doesn't know that but she is, anyway, she gave me a massage during P.E.-Softball when we were waiting to bat (side note: our team won! Wh00t ^_^). I gave her a dollar for it.. I wanted to give her two but she said one was fine and I needed to eat lunch.. ^_^;
The rest of the day I was still a little sore and still really depressed. Everyone said I looked really tired/sullen/gone/broken/etc. because my eyes sunken in and not as bright as they usually were. I think they were a dark, dark blue mixed with some light grey that day. *faint shrug* I was asked a few times if I was okay and I just said yes. It's kinda funny, the conversation went like this:
"Hey Jen."
"*tiredly/quietly* Nm~Hey."
"What's wrong?"
"*tone perks up faintly* Nothing."
"Are you okay?"
"*voice drops back to a sort of dead and quiet tone* Yes."
"Are you lying?"
"*same tone as before* Yes."
"*casually* Ok."
Eh. Not that I care. They know I'm somewhat of a compulsive liar. They asked. They got an answer and just went on with the conversation.
I mean, if they were to express a bit more concern to ask what's bothering me, I'd still probably push them away and say "Nothing at all." And add that I'm just tired. They don't really try to see what's wrong, so it's less explaining for me.
They're used to the "Just tired" remark. Sometimes the conversation will go "You okay?" "Yes." "Just tired?" "Yes."
I don't think I talked that much Monday.
Tuesday was a little better, I mean, I threw up the night before for ten minutes after mixing various sodas, chocolate milk, and Sobe in a cup with ice and drinking some.. but I had somewhat of an okay day. Lunch I suppose was my favorite part of the day. Jessica brought bubbles along and we played with them and the light breeze, chasing the bubbles, popping them, stomping them, and standing while one of us blew them against us ^_^;.. It was fun. Jessica's the "Hopeless Romantic" in my group of friends. She's always singing some love song, or one with meaningful lyrics, and even one that's about someone who's in love with this guy, but he's in love with someone else. She made up a "Fantasy" for me involving Adam, because Adam wore a Matrix outfit the week before. Black everything and the sunglasses. It was great.. Jessica and I were walking to get lunch and he was walking towards us with his food and slowly as he passed us, we turned and watched him leave, jaw open and eyes wide and we tripped over eachother. It was great.. @_@
But anyway, it was a nice little 'day-dream.'
Here's how it went:
Jessica: "He's wearing his Matrix outfit."
"And???"
"And he's looking out at the ocean and you're a bit behind him.."
"...o_o"
"And he slowly turns around, the sun setting behind him.."
"..............o_o....*slowly lowers body from standing position to a half-slouch*"
"And he takes off his sunglasses in this one fluid motion and puts them into his trench coat..."
"*falls to her knees and barely nods*"
"*puts her hands on her knees and leans forward a bit to Jen* And he takes out a rose."
"*jaw slowly drops lightly and moves head up just a centimeter or so up as a nod*"
"And he walks towards you with the rose.. gives it to you.."
"....."
"Says he's been madly in love with you! He takes you in his arms!"
"....*slides down to her side, one arm supporting herself*"
"And he kisses you softly! The wind picks up and his trenchcoat closes around him and you!"
"*falls the rest of the way down to the ground* *.*.......... ...*slowly says* And then... we do 'stuff' together."
"O_o.." ( She litterally made that face.)
"*jumps back to her feet, almost falling but catches herself and hops once in place, voice back happy and perky* And then I wake up!!"
"*laughing* Yes, and then you wake up."
Today was the same as before, I guess I laughed just a bit more. Talked somewhat a bit more. Etc. etc.
Tomorrow is the last day of the week I go to school, which is spiffy. We're having an all-period day and the Year Book Signing Asembly at the end of the day before school ends.
Sara, Jessica, and I are going to go up to Adam and say that we adore him, are his fans, and want him to sign our year books.
I doubt we'll really do it, but it'd be cool.
Not that I like Adam.
.....
Honestly, I don't.
......
*quickly runs out* (I don't!)
Ja~
~Owari~ ( I don't!!! )