I want to help him, but I don't know how

Don't mind this entry, I'm sobbing-crying/trembling and I have a raging headache and all my thoughts are just written down.

I can't express myself well on the net.. and it hurts me that I can't.

I don't think I've ever cried this hard in a long time over someone.

He just acts like I don't care about him and that I don't want to do anything to help him and I do and it hurts me so bad that he thinks that.. I can't change it, and it makes me cry even harder about it.

I've only heard myself whimper a few times but this is a different kind of whimper.. I've never trembled like this before..

I want to help him I do, I just can't.. he doesn't understand that..

He just left, I guess he didn't catch on that I was crying.

I don't know how anyone can catch on that I'm crying through words.

If I didn't say I was crying when I started this, would you be able to tell?

Oh god, this is horrible. I feel so broken and damaged.

I just want to make it go away and it won't, and no one can help me. I know they try, and they do know what to do.. all I need is to be held, but right now, even just a spiritual holding isn't good enough..

My face is really wet.. and my throat's all clogged with all this .. eh.. snot. --; I can't really breathe well at the moment, either.

I think I'm going to curl in my bed and try to sleep or cry my feelings out..

What a headache...

Ja..

Owari

06.13.2003 | 11:53 p.m.

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