Recently I've been having a lot of fevers that come on and off. It's been making me nervous. I'm not sick at all.. it's just the fevers. --; I passed out in bed (litterally) last night. I was laying down and staring at the ceiling and a ringing in my ears was all that I heard. Then nothing. Then my vision faded and I don't remember anything besides waking up at 11 the next morning.
Guess Robert and Andy and Kris are right. I need to take more care of myself and actually care when I have things like big bad headaches and fevers and I need to eat more than one meal a day. ...x.o..
....Eh. --; I don't think I'll do anything to change myself, though.
O.x Oddly, though, I've been weight training and working out a lot. ^_^ Wh00t. My arms are a little stronger. Maybe soon I'll be able to do a push up... X_x;
Agh.. I feel bad. --; I thought it'd be cute and did something that got Him upset. --; He said that I shouldn't worry about it, but He acted really... different the rest of the time. Mostly dotted me. --; He's mad at me, I said sorry like 10 times.. there's nothing else I can do. I can't just take it back and replace it, He'll just probably get more angry. -_-... I really know how to eff' things up between Us, don't I?
It still bothers me that I cried so much over Him and He doesn't have a clue. --;..
*hums* I got crayons today. ^_^ It made me really happy. Gramma came into the living room and I looked up from coloring and said really happily/childishly, "I GOT CRAYONS! ^_____^"
o.x Least I made her laugh. She never laughs around me unless it's cruel laughing. --;
I think... ...I want to call Him. --; But I wouldn't know what to say except Sorry. --;..
I swear, man. Guys are too hard to deal with. I can't please any guy that's with me. I make them mad some way or the other and eventually they stop talking to me. --;;..
I have this new friend, btw. His name's Robert. He lives in NJ and he's sending me this bottle of rain. ^_^ We met on Furc. and we RP every so now and then. The night when I was crying really hard and wrote in dland, about three entries ago or so, no one was on but Rob and he had to go to bed but he stayed with me anyway. ^^ It really meant a lot to me, most people'd just go with a "Get better you whiney bitch."
Gah. Sometimes when I talk about myself and my problems, even in here, it makes me feel so ... so.... self-absorbed. I wish I wouldn't feel that way. --; It's one of my main reasons I lie to people when they ask me how I'm doing and something's wrong. x.o; Wish I wouldn't lie to friends and family. --;
Gah, I just remembered my Cello lessons. --;
My teacher's so nice. My cello teacher. Mhm.. Barbara Gurley. ^_________^ She's so nice and funny and witty. o.x She's a rebel, I swear.
She takes me places ^_^ And because of summer school and how it's only from 7:30 to 12:00, she's helping my mom out (because my mom needs to sleep somehow in the day time) by picking me up at Western on Monday's, Thursday's, and Friday's.
It's planned then to drop off our cellos at the Violin Outlet (the store she teaches at) and then we'll go eat something, then go back and have a long lesson.
After the lesson I work around the store until it's time to go.
^______^ Fortunately, during Monday's there's this cellist 'club,' if you will, at 7:00. They play random music and Barbara's in it/teaches there. ^_____^ So I get to stay there.
Basically, I don't get home until sometime around 8 on Monday's.
I don't know for the other two days. We'll just find out when it comes. ^_^
Wish me luck on my survival at Western.
Love,
Kai.
Ja~
~Owari~
P.S. - New layout coming soon! ^___^ It might either be "Broken" or lyrics from Clowns. ....OR A CELLO! ^_______^ I luvs me cello.. *purrs and hugs it*
^_^ Oyasumi Nasai! (Good night!)