Ah, remember that glass entry that I had up?
It's funny the way glass shatters.. broken in little pieces.
That was a metaphor.
Like broken glass, many families are broken just the same. Once they're broken, it's very hard to patch things up.
I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying it takes time to glue all those pieces together.
Another metaphor-simile would be like a disease such as the Flesh Eating Disease.
.... Funny metaphor, ne?
Anyway.
Some broken families are like the dreaded Flesh Eating Disease.
It's unwanted. It's painful. It kills.
It'll start out with an infection and then slowly spread.
It can be stopped, yes. But for a price. The limb that the disease has claimed.
Amputation's horrible.
You'll look down at the amputated limb and know what caused it. The memory will never leave.
Like a broken family, yes?
Well.. my family is.. both, you could say. Hell, it's the Flesh Eating Disease with shards of broken glass inside the infection.
I've known for a long time that being blood related does not mean family.
I think, though, I realized this when my Great Grandma Fern died. Neheh.. Granny Fern wasn't really related to me. She was my Grandma Janice's mother, who my Grandpa married after divorcing the Grandma that lives with me now.
( Hope you're still with me after that one.. )
What I've also known since all that I've experienced is that life is not fair. I didn't just "know" it, it proved itself to me.
You can't say that when you get grounded and can't spend the night at a friends or go on a party or to a school dance or a date with your boy/girl-friend that life's not fair.
It's almost shallow if you say it from just getting grounded.
You have to be, I don't know, shown or something that it's not fair.
Having to pass homeless people, reading about a famous actor or actress that died that day, seeing pictures of little children with AIDS in Africa... all of these prove that life's not kind or fair, but it's not showing you.
A personal experience that affects you for a very long time that takes you forever to open up and tell anyone about it.
That's being shown. When you go through something that you can't get over until a good amount of time has passed for you to brood and contemplate over it.
Then.. I believe that when you bounce back from that personal experience and feel like a whole new person (but the same in a way (Like a grungy stuffed animal that has been washed and dried)) then, Congratulations. You just overcome a part of life and you know that life's not fair, but it's easier to get over little things like fights between friends.
( ...--; Don't mind what I'm talking about. If you've gone this fair, congratulations. I'm just rambling, getting whatever's on my mind out. )
Though it might hurt, whatever it is, it'll go away like all things do. Like a hangnail.
It'll hurt, yes. And it'll stay there, yes squared. But eventually it goes away. Either by itself or you taking it with your teeth (or nail clippers if you HAVE to be civil o.o;) and ripping it out.
Some things have to be overcome. (My all these metaphors.. here comes another one.)
Problems covered up are like bandaids.
( Or similes?.. )
Though you try to cover the problem up, eventually that sticky stuff that holds the bandaid down will wear out.
And if you're smart enough, when friends try to get under that bandaid to help like when you're in a shower and the water's beating down on it, you'll change the bandaid right after they've left their mark.
I'm sure everyone's had a bandaid that one side would just stop sticking and it'd slowly come off your skin.
Well, that's what friends do. They try and try and even if you don't get it off your chest what's wrong, the evidence from that non-sticking bandaid side shows that they care.
^_^; Now, I also am sure that everyone's just.. ripped off a bandaid.
That's a very painful experience.
It'd be like telling your problem right out and then the person you've told turning you down. Leaving you in the dark. Alone. Scared. Yes, even vulnerable.
And soon the pain will leave, but you'll keep it in the back of your head that it hurts like Hell.
And though you might not do it for a long while an build your pain tolerence up, you will eventually do it again. (Hey, I've done it more than ten times! [Pull of a bandaid, not the metaphor this is getting at.])
Not because you're stupid, but because you are curious.
Soon, you're pain tolerence will get high enough so that it barely even makes you flinch.
(Switching metaphors back to the real meaning)
So you can go up to someone and say, "Hey! How're you? I have a problem! And you're going to hear it! (Problem Here)"
And if they push you down into the mud and make you eat dirt (Metaphor here! Ehehe... o.o;;), so what! They weren't worth your problem. They're obviously not the person you thought they were to be and they don't want to help you.
Find people who you can open up to. Who actually say that they want to help you and know your problems because they care for you.
^_^ New subject!
Love is a great thing.
It really, truly is.
It actually amazes me, ^_^.
Love is something built up on trust and personality matches.
I believe there are two kinds of love.
(And not Love-At-First-Sight)
There is a Family-Friend Love, and there is an Affection Love.
Family-Friend Love is.. just great.
I love most of all my friends ^_^, I can trust them with my life and I can remember countless moments of endless laughter.
My family, well. ^_^; I'd have to say my Mom's the only person I can trust and love forever. I can do without anyone else because I know their love is only because of the blood and our last names that say we are family.
It's true.
I'm not saying I'm giving up hope for my family, I'm saying "Let me see it and I'll believe it."
Once I see that the rest of my family actually gives a shit, then I'll say, "Yeah, okay, I can love and trust (so-and-so) and (whatstheirname) forever."
Anyway! Back to love.
^_^ My way of showing people that I love them is just over all caring. o.o; ^___^ I hug them even if they don't hug back. It's just my thing. I love hugs. They're just so.. trusting. The other person may have a knife in their hand to stab you in the back, but you're giving them that chance to do it while you hug them lovingly. ^^; So you die (emotionally, think of this as another one of my millions of metaphors), so what? You heal and you live to hug another person.
Hell, I'm amazed people actually stick with me as a friend. All my little emotion roller coaster rides and opinions that can get people mad.. it strikes me funny that they're still with me.
I, like many people, need someone.
Not a need as boy/girl-friend need, but.. for emotional lifts. For a sense of reality.
Like my (hopefully) dead habit of cutting for that sense of reality, I need a certian someone with me to give me that feeling.
They take away my feeling of hopelessness, They're accepted in my "bubble" of emotional protection like a lot of my loved ones are. They're just an overall special person.
I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with Them (And no, this "They" is not "Him." ). It's a need that I'm sure could get over with if They ever (which I doubt They would, They are so sweet. ^^) left me.
Everyone has their "They" or a lot of "They"'s. A needed person that they could just sit in silence with. ^^
Onto the next type of Love, yes? Yes! ^_^ (*having fun going through all these things on her mind and thoughts and such*)
Then the Affection Love.
Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are. Affection from another feeds this craving and lifts people's spirits.
This type of love doesn't last forever, but it comes when it wants.
(Wow, that one wasn't long)
Racial Slurs and Racist People (including Homophobics).
(All these topics.. ^^;)
Ehh.. racial slurs.. I hate them. I've finally gotten over my habit of slapping someone who uses the N word.
They're just so... discriminating and mean. --;
We're all the same. Black, white, naturally tan, purple, blue-eyed, brown-eyed, green-eyed, curly hair, straight hair, long hair, short hair, green hair, baseball cap, turban, kippot. It doesn't matter. We all bleed red, so why classify eachother with words like Nip, Kraut, Wop, Fob, Yoko, Nazi Firewood, Blue-eyed Devil, ...Need I go on? I'm getting these from this site.
All these painful words are still used today, and no matter who you are, if you hear a racial slur directed to you, you hurt. You might get angry and punch the bastard in the face, but you hurt.
o.-..
Yes. So.. hm.
That's all for now. I've said my share of thoughts today. As unimportant as they may seem to you, I think I wrote a lot and got some stuff that's been playing around in my mind.
I might update later with something amusing. ^_^; Hopefully I can get a smile from someone. From all this stuff I've been talking about to people and what I've been reading... ^_^ Sounds like everyone needs it. It tears me apart to see people upset/hurting, and I want to try my best to help them, even if it's not with the problem and just making them laugh for a little while. ^_^..
*eyes a certian someone for a moment and hums* Y ul hardynk jrel lymmynk iea. I'ma redownload something and tell you what that means.
Ja~
~Owari~